Twice a month for a while now I've been attending lunch with two of my best boys, Lane Wiley and Andre Rodrigue. We have called this time our Personal Development Meeting. We talk about personal goals such as fitness and dating and working on our mental health. There is a great deal of laughter and picking on one another. There is support for the changes we desire to make and suggestions on how to reach such goals. And often, like today, there is great wisdom. I'll be honest, I don't even remember how this came about today...I believe we were discussing the cinematic masterpiece that is MEATBALLS...
At some point Andre reminded Lane of what he called "Murray's law." Seeing that I clearly was at a loss Andre looked at me and said, "Bill Murray." He then went on the explain that Murray's Law was the exact opposite of Murphy's Law. That as opposed to the usual line of "If something can go wrong, it will go wrong" Murray's law states "If something can go right, it will go right." I am not going to lie to you - it took me minute to process this. I felt like maybe I should run out and get this tattooed somewhere I could easily see, every day, all day long. It is a complete shift of mindset.
The thing is I've been trying to get my health in check since I was about 7. I have no concept of being thin or waify or post baby-fat. My baby fat is 37 years old. And after much thought today I realize that as much as I want it, as much as I've dreamed about it, as much as I think about it - I don't know that I've ever really believed it to be possible. I'm a big girl. I've always been a big girl. The idea that maybe that is not who I fundamentally am but maybe just who I've just settled being never occurred to me. Until today.
If something can go right, it will go right. Damn. That is some deep shit. That is some life-altering, soul-shaking stuff. I am a worrier and realized today that I have been going at all of this the wrong way. I have spent more time worried about others' perceptions than my own. I workout with the mindset "It can't hurt." I eat well with the mindset "this will counteract the boudin cookoff" or "this will make up for that cupcake splurge." (Y'all know I love some cupcakes. I mean it is hand-sized cake.) But what I want to think and now will begin to think is "This exercise will help me be healthier" and "This healthy meal choice will help me feel healthier." This is not just to counteract the bad but a move toward building the better. No more gimmicks. No more quick fixes. I can be a healthy girl. She is in there. This can go right.
My health can go in the right direction. My weight can become "right."
If something can go right, it will go right. Thanks, Andre and Lane. I have some great friends.
Go team.
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